--------------------------------------------------------------------
In previous chapters of Alternity: 
(previous chapters are on-line at http://www.duellists.tj/~utena/fanfic/)

Twin roses were born at the spot of Utena's collapse after the conclusion
of the Duel of Revolution. These roses were, mysteriously, undying, and
became entwined with the fate of Ootori Academy...

Ten years after the Duel of Revolution, a person bearing a rose signet met
with Juri, Touga, and Akio. To each was given a new ring, and the promise
to fix something that went wrong; a chance to begin their lives again.
Utena and Anshi were reunited by their promise to have tea together. The
former Student Council members returned to Ootori Academy and retook their
positions- but now, by the will of the school that had lured them
there, and in accordance with their wish to have a second chance, they no
longer remember that they ever left. Only Akio now retains full memories
of the events before and after Utena's duels. And a new student for the
coming year has caught everyone's eye...
---------------------------------------------------------------------


        "This is Ten'jou Utena," the Dean spoke softly, introducing the
handsome young man beside him to the three who stood before him on the
balcony. "I've decided to add him to the Student Council for this quarter
on a probationary status, given his impeccable references from...  
previous settings." It was the briefest of pauses, not enough to seem
unusual; the Dean liked to collect his thoughts and to speak as clearly
and directly as possible to prevent misunderstandings.

        Utena glanced at Akio tautly a moment, blue eyes sliding sideways,
narrowed, an expression which was one of warning. Still, in the space of
the next heartbeat, the slender young boy with the heart-wrenching smile
was all grins, and he touched the back of his neck shyly. His friendly
blue eyes appraised the three Council members with mirth. "Nice to meet
you all." He offered his hand, bearing the familiar Ootori class signet,
to them. "I'm really excited to be here.  I've heard so much about Ootori,
and especially about its Student Council." The winning smile was on full
blast.

        Miki looked impressed, and seized Utena's hand warmly, "Welcome to
Ootori." They smiled at each other, and it was clear they'd be fast
friends almost immediately, bobbing their heads to each other as if in
mutual understanding; Miki blushed a little and wiggled his toes within
his shoes as Utena^=D2s unbroken smile washed over him like the sun.

        Juri for her part viewed the newcomer critically, suspiciously...
he's a charmer, she thought to herself, while her emerald gaze shifted
from the boy's handsome and unusual appearance to focus on Touga's face.
It was his reaction she wanted to see most, his reaction that was going to
be by far the most interesting... would he accept this? He was their
leader - he spoke for all. But, given his earlier reaction, Juri thought
his judgment in this couldn't be considered clear and unbiased...

        Still, Touga gave no sign of whatever thoughts were in him- the
consummate diplomat in his blood came to the forefront as he smiled and
took his turn to reach for Utena's hand. He was careful, Touga was, he
kept his grip warm, but brief , welcoming, but not friendly.  Even while
he wrestled with irrational emotions inside; why was the color of the
boy's hair sticking in his throat, why did those blue eyes make his want
to water, why was there this dull ache inside his chest...? Why did he
feel like he'd seen this all before? Why? He pushed those questions down
hard and deep into himself- they couldn't help him now- buried his
feelings and spoke with a voice that came out (to his secret relief) as
both graceful and powerful. "You'll find the work of the Student Council
difficult, often exhausting. But often rewarding." An imperious smile.
"Don't disappoint the faith that the Rijichou has placed in you."

        Juri nodded, looked smugly pleased. A perfect response, giving
away none of the Council's secrets; she wondered briefly why she was so
glad Touga's reaction had been so reserved, and a frown briefly touched
her golden brows as she too felt the shiver of why, the eerie sense of
deja vu.  She glanced at Miki to see if he felt it too, but the Council
secretary had always had a great poker face, and he wore it now. He merely
nodded as well, and made a notation in his omnipresent notebook. Juri
found she had no idea what he was thinking, which bothered her even more.
        
        Utena, for his part, simply gave out a short laugh that fell
pleasantly onto the ears of the others. A sly glance at the dark man
beside him. "I couldn't possibly imagine myself doing such a thing."

        Akio's hands, hanging dead at his sides, twitched vaguely, but his
voice came out as smooth and casual as Touga's.  "Perhaps, Seitokaichou,
you would care to take over getting Ten'jou-kun settled into the affairs
of the school? I have... other issues to contend with."

        Utena's smile blossomed into one of vast amusement. His perfect
teeth shone pale white, bones scrubbed clean. "I can't wait to get
started."  And he stepped over to stand next to Touga.

         Akio gazed at the two men side by side with an unreadable
expression, then turned crisply on a foot and walked away, lavender
ponytail bobbing against his crimson shirt's back.


Shoujo Kakumei Utena 
Alternity 3: The Shiver of Why
by utena@duellists.tj


        Akio was on auto-pilot; hands in pockets, scowling into the summer
sky. He wandered, deliberately surrendering his conscious thoughts to a
void of unthought, letting his feet do the direction; avoiding giggling
and breathless students without effort and simply walking campus paths
that were as familiar to him as his own body, his own bones and blood. It
was an old, old technique, one he hadn't used in so long he couldn't
place a date to it. But in the very distant past, when he had still
believed in the world, the technique had been useful for leading him to
where he was needed. And he'd lost none of his skills- only the desire to
use them for any motives other than his own self-interest. Now when he
chose to become aware of his surroundings again, he found himself in the
rose garden, inside the greenhouse.

        And he found a pair of pruning shears in his hands, the silver
blades glistening under the sunlight filtering in through the thick,
faceted glass above his head. Found the sharp edges of the shears parted,
poised, ready to close tight and sever the green twin-branched neck of the
black and white roses.

        Temptation. One snip would end it, so easily. He knew that.  It
would end everything: himself, Ootori, the lies, the illusions, once and
for all. The restless buried part of him that normally slumbered deeply
sat up and took notice. Urged him to do it. This new Ootori... it wasn't
like it had been before. It felt disturbed, distorted, crazy fever-mad; he
could smell the blood in the stagnant summer air. The school wasn't
controllable any more, not by him or anyone, as if it'd taken on a
malignant mind of its own.

        Yet Akio couldn't do it. The strength drained from his hands as
soon as he tried to will them to act; he couldn't make them move, make the
shears close to sever the necks of the rose twins. He couldn't. He gave no
sound save a low frustrated murmur; his fingers opened and the shears fell
from his hands, clattering along the white-gravel bed of the greenhouse.
Exhaling hard, Akio covered his eyes with his dark hand, and his lanky
form sank back onto a close-by potting bench in defeat.

        He needed Ootori still, because of that piercing ache in his
heart; he couldn't, daren't try to face the world without the power
Ootori granted him to deal with that. And then there was something else as
well. He had no love of this new Utena, that he had already decided; he
felt his lips harden at the very thought. But there were two black and
white roses, and coating the edges of that unresolvable pain in his
heart was a bitter, searing hope that burned like acid, that wore the face
of a young girl that he had foolishly underestimated once, and that
constantly whispered in her soft sweet voice, yes, there still is a way
to become a Prince once again, even for the likes of you...
=09
          The rose signet he wore felt cold, contracting around his
finger; in the next breath, Akio realized he was tired. The sudden
realization unnerved him- and very little could ever be said to do that.
He was not accustomed to thinking of himself as weak, as unprepared, yet
that was how he felt now; he glared at the signet a moment, and then
pushed swiftly to his feet.

        ... but Utena was there in the door, with a look of utter
contempt, glaring and blocking the door with his androgynous body in its
two-toned uniform...

        ... and Akio couldn't move, muscles locking, as he blinked in
sudden realization, this place, this time, the school...
        
        ... to be in two places at once was nothing in Ootori...

        ... and in the next moment when he finished the blink he was
facing Utena, and the boy whipped a hand out and slapped him fiercely
along the left cheek, a stinging blow that knocked Akio off balance and
sent him crashing on his back clumsily into a bush of yellow roses; all at
once the thorns and their scent were in his face, air on his back and he
had to close his eyes and lie passively. Sow not, lest ye reap. Ah, and
he'd sown so many bitter seeds, hadn't he, in his time? He recognized the
irony of his current position, so cutting it tasted like salt in his
mouth. Or was that blood...? White gravel stones poked into his stomach,
the thorns of the roses scratched his face and he wasn't paying attention
really... Ootori had tempted him, and he had given in to the temptation.
Now it was punishing him. He should have known better.
 

        "You are my Bride now," Utena hissed in Akio's ear hotly, fingers
cupped tight around his neck. "I bet you feel awful right now, don't you?
Sick and distorted. Outraged. I bet you hate me." The voice became coarse
and hard. "That's what I want you to feel. I want you to hate me. I NEED
you to hate me. And you will hate me. Whether you like it or not."
     
        Then it was over, and there was a laugh behind Akio, a sliding of
fabric. The petals of the roses shone with droplets of light that
refracted and glittered. And the sun was fifteen degrees to the west, and
the air was humid, rose-scent mingled with evaporating waters.  
"Seitokaichou was right. The work of the Student Council IS exhausting.
But I'm getting an idea I can get to like it." Utena's forehead glistened
from the humidity in the greenhouse; his voice was commanding, compelling.
"Get up, Akio. We have preparations to make. Invitations to issue.
Utena's on her way and we should be ready to greet her."

        And Akio, like a puppet jerked off the floor by invisible strings,
rose in silence and slid his clothes back on. He felt something folded in
his slacks pocket; sent querying fingers to investigate. An envelope
neatly folded in three. But Utena was glaring at him, and he had to obey,
and there was no time to investigate it further just then.

                                     *

        "So..." Touga glanced at his fellow Student Council members, "What
do we think of our new companion?" The meeting was over; the Council
adjourned, and over the platform the sun glowed hot and dry, the sky a
pale, cloudless blue. He wanted to be back in the cool shade, wanted to be
in his room, shed his itching, uncomfortable formal black uniform, shed
his mask, but it was not yet something he had the freedom to do. He
carefully kept the discomfort from his face, and the doubt from his eyes,
and scrutinized the other two most closely.

        *click!* Miki put down the stopwatch, a momentary breeze ruffling
his short blue hair, and he smiled unreservedly, with eyes and body. "I
like him! He's nice." Simple, direct; Touga nodded, having expected that.

        Juri gave the very faintest of dry smirks to the Seitokaichou, a
quirk of her brow before turning her head, sharp chin resting on her hand,
green eyes sparkling faintly, elbow on the table. "Does it matter what we
think? He's here now. Anyway, it's not like you to worry about such
trivial things as our opinions."

        Touga felt his smile slipping, fought to nail it back in place,
and he waved his hands to placate Juri. "Now, now. I was just curious."

        The orange-haired Duellist focused her gaze on him, almost
languidly, but all the more piercing for her apparent surface casualness.
"You haven't said what you think."

        Instantly the Seitokaichou riposted, "Neither have you."

        Miki nervously looked back and forth, left and right, between the
two as tension grew visibly in the air between them, "Uhm..."

        Unwilling to surrender, Juri stared piercingly at Touga. "You're
nervous about something." she challenged, though her voice remained level
and calm. "You want to know if you're the only one that feels
uncomfortable about this. Here it is the beginning of a new term, and
after a long time all of a sudden a major change. Certainly you must be
uncertain about the reasons, and I bet you feel threatened by him, too,
because he's got a personality like your own." Her voice was utterly
relentless; she smirked with satisfaction as she could see each word
piercing Touga's shell of regal indifference.

        Kiryuu Touga, to his credit, did not back down but faced that
emerald glare with his own blueviolet gaze; he did not flinch at Juri's
cold recitation. He paused a moment to pick his words with care. "One
-might- say that you seem to be speaking with the voice of personal
experience."

        Juri reacted- the very slightest wince, before leaning back with
her hands behind her head, affecting a bored yawn. "Slippery eel." she
groused. But her eyes and Touga's had locked for a moment, and a knowledge
had passed between them, silent and certain; Touga felt his smile a little
easier to maintain.

        Surprisingly, it was Miki who rose first to leave, holding his
slender notebook and stopwatch against his chest, speaking a polite,
"Excuse me."  while Touga and Juri lounged in their white iron chairs
under the sun. He hurried away, felt the sealed envelope tucked between
his jacket and his skin stiff and inflexible against his chest.

        It hadn't seemed the right time to tell them that the Ends of the
Earth had sent the Council a letter.

                                     *
        
        Night was cool when it came, ocean breezes disturbing a small set
of wind chimes placed over a patio far removed from Ootori's summer heat.
Two girls slept side by side on two hammocks strung between the posts of
the patio that held up its latticed roof- or rather, one slept peacefully,
and the other watched her. Cicadas cried out softly to the full moon
overhead, sharp accents against the sugared crystal of the wind chimes.
The breeze was inland, from the sea lapping at low tide against the shore,
but their patio was raised, a stilt-house set partially into a wooded
cliff-face. In the moonlight, everything was precious and quiet,
mysteriously redolent with magic silver glow.

        Even though hours had passed since her sudden arrival, Anshi still
wasn't tired of looking at Utena- especially now, in her sleep, when she
was defenseless; Anshi found every detail endlessly fascinating, every new
and old line of her, though she still felt giddy, as if she'd stepped back
into the illusionary world. And she wasn't sure she hadn't... or that
Utena hadn't appeared out of that mysterious other land and brought it
back whole with her when she had appeared at Anshi's door and sat at her
table to drink her tea.

        Anshi had so many questions- but she wasn't about to question her
miracle. Utena, alive. Here. Safe. No, she wouldn't question that.
Instead she sat in her hammock and rocked quietly back and forth, gazing
at the slender curve of Utena's back, the way the sea breezes venerated
her long pale pink hair, the subtle rise and fall of her ribs as she
breathed in sleep. Lined in deep silver moonlight, she was supernaturally
beautiful and utterly perfect, memory had not done her justice, and it was
all Anshi could do not to reach out to touch her. Except that she feared
to do it, her head caught in a half-idle fancy that if she dared to cross
that line now, Utena would evaporate, fade back into mist and dreams with
an accusatory glare, destroyed by a lack of faith.

        But that was a silly notion, wasn't it?

        And suddenly Anshi felt a hardness grow and spread like a coat of
iron plating over her heart. This was the real world, not Ootori- a world
where strict and undefeated laws stood in place. Gravity, tides, logic,
sunrise, sunset, cycles and balance: these things were fixed and
immutable. If Utena was here now, Anshi chided herself, it was because she
was in submission to those laws. She would not blow away on a doubting
thought; she was not a gossamer web of maya but a breathing human being.
And to prove this to herself, Anshi reached out her hand, catching a few
loose wafting strands of Utena's pink hair between her fingers. Silken
reality. Utena didn't disappear. Himemiya tilted her hand, let the strands
slip through her fingers and fall.

        Still she found herself letting out her breath in a deep exhale of
relief. And then she found herself staring into Utena's fathom-less blue
eyes, at the small pink mouth forming words, and the surprise was enough
that for a moment she couldn't hear what Utena was saying, didn't realize
Utena had awakened, rolled onto her other side, and was looking at her.

        Himemiya Anshi blinked stupidly, feeling blood crawl into her
face, as if caught in the middle of a vile act, embarrassed. "I... I'm
sorry, Utena-sama..." she stammered, so reflexively she gave no thought to
the fact she was using a term suited for ten years ago... "I didn't mean
to wake you, I..."

        Utena just smiled, shook her head sadly. "Don't call me that,
Himemiya. Never again." Her eyes were wry and weary; although she hadn't
previously shown the passing of time in her face, suddenly it was as if
those ten years all descended on her at once, shadows forming in her eyes,
her pursed lips; she looked -old- for a moment. "I wasn't really asleep. I
keep thinking about..." She fell silent, but they both knew exactly what
she meant; Anshi nibbled her lip. For a moment there was silence, but
Utena broke it, her voice a faint whisper above the sound of the tide.
"How much do you remember, Himemiya?"

        The darker girl sighed. "... more, now that you're here." she
replied after a moment. "But... it's been a decade, Utena-s..." She
stopped herself, glanced away, to the moon. "A very long time. I was happy
to forget." Somehow, she didn't feel as guilty saying that as she thought
she should be.. as she wanted to be, saying it directly to Utena's face
like that. She wanted to feel bad, obscurely, wanted to apologize somehow,
felt the words form under her lips- and then felt them die. They were
weak, reflexive, automatic reactions, like her thoughtless use of Utena's
previous title. They meant nothing in this world. "I remember us." she
said gently. "I remember some of the duels, vaguely, as well... though...
now the reason for them doesn't seem very clear to me, as it once did."

        Utena's aspect was haunted as she nodded, reached out for Anshi's
hands and took them in her own. Suddenly it occurred to Anshi that her
feelings of fear and instability must surely have been felt by Utena as
well; she wondered why she hadn't considered that fact sooner. As if she
thought Utena was somehow immune to human fear, human doubts...

        "I remember -everything-." Utena breathed, her eyes gazing at some
distant point, not meeting Anshi's. "I remember things I shouldn't, things
I didn't even know at the time. I can see things I didn't see then. I
remember... I remember Touga, and Miki, and Wakaba, and Juri... even
Saionji, Nanami... Tsuwabuki. Akio. I remember the hotel room, I remember
the rose gates... the Million Swords." She hung her head, squeezed Anshi's
fingers between hers. "I left all of you hanging out to dry... I should
have tried to be stronger... I left everyone to Akio. Sometimes... I wish
I could forget... but I can't. I feel like I can't do that."

        Himemiya Anshi frowned. And in a flash of insight that chilled
her, she understood. Suddenly she pulled her hands from Utena's, gazing
at her in fearful alarm- Utena hadn't let go. And not letting go of the
past bound one, inexorably, to the duel game; who better than the former
Rose Bride knew that? She spoke swiftly, as if words alone, applied
swiftly, could repair the damage she heard in Utena's heart, in her
spirit.  "You have to forgive yourself and move on, Utena. That was
another life. You're not responsible for anything that happened there, to
any of us."

        For a moment Utena said nothing. And then when she answered, it
was as she looked down at nothing in particular, as her voice was a
strange, flat, tormented tone, one that spoke of barely veiled
self-contempt. "...Maybe I -should- have been."

        In that moment, Himemiya Anshi felt her heart break.
        And that wasn't anything compared to her reaction of the next
moment, as she felt something scrabble up onto her shoulder, almost flew
out of the hammock in terror before she realized...

        "Chu?"

        Utena blinked, and lifted her head to stare at the little
monkey-mouse as if she'd never seen him before; her eyes opened wide,
quivering, shaking. Anshi turned to reach to pet the little animal, about
to ask Utena how she could have possibly forgotten Chuchu... but froze
dead when she turned her head, and saw.

        The little animal wore a sad expression and shook his head, tail
stiff, ears drooping. "...chu..." He was holding a sealed envelope nearly
the size of his entire body out before himself in his tiny paws. A simple
cream-colored envelope, sealed with a thin wax drop that looked like a
splash of congealed blood in the moonlight.

        Anshi's first impulse was to faint, but she tried to steel
herself; she still slumped back in the hammock dizzy and helpless,
murmuring her disbelief to the stars, and it was left to Utena to
finally... after agonizing minutes of indecision... reach for the letter
with shivering hands, fumble with the seal and break it between her
thumbs, then draw out the single sheet of paper inside. It only took her a
moment to read it. Then she hurled it away blindly, rage contorting her
features.

        The sheet drifted on the sea breeze for a moment, looked as if it
would blow away, but a perverse change in the wind sent it back toward
them, to the floor of the patio. Anshi didn't have the strength to reach
for it- she felt like she couldn't move at all, as if her body had turned
to lifeless stone. But when the letter settled on the floor she leaned
over the edge of the hammock to peer nervously at, until it filled her
entire vision, and seemed to swallow up the world...

        The paper itself was blank. No words, no signs, no marks were on
its flawless surface. Anshi frowned; she was about to look to Utena for
explanation- but then a shadow play of figures drifted across the blank
page's surface in flickers, in jerky fits, as if the moon were projecting
images down from on high.

        "Kashira, kashira, gozonji kashira!"  three voices spoke.

        A table, a newspaper, three girls, evening coffee with stars
hanging from strings in the sky overhead. One looks up to the others.
        "Hey, hey, hey, I heard there's a new stage being built now!
What's that all about? Will there be a new show? Will we be replaced? It's
supposed to be a brand new performance. Oh, oh, oh, our careers! We worked
so -hard- to get where we are!" She gesticulated wildly, jerking from side
to side while miming the tearing out of her hair.
         Another answered with an airy wave of a hand, "But the actors
haven't changed, and the set's going to be the same as before. It's even
the same play that's been done a thousand times before! So what's the
point of doing it all yet again?"
         The first girl shrugged, walking forward to an x on the floor and
tripping over it facefirst, WHAM- the third girl, not yet having spoken,
held a potted rose over her head quickly before jerking it back as the
first girl rose up heroically! "I heard it was because some actors thought
they messed up their parts."
        The second girl taptaptapped her chin, holding a pen and
scratching frantically over a notepad, pacing to and fro with great
agitation. "I heard it was because the writer thought there were
characters that didn't get resolved the first time."
        Finally the third shadow girl spoke, wearing a hard hat and
swinging a hammer over her shoulder. "I heard it was because the stage
wanted to be seen one more time. Stages are like that, you know. They get
used to the lights and the people, and can't bear to be alone! Without the
actor the stage is meaningless!" She turned and gestured to the
silhouettes of construction workers in the background that carried on
silently.
        "But what about us?" lamented the first actress, slipping into a
shadow-dress with a wide hem and placing a crown ever so carefully on her
head, "We who are such critically acclaimed actors? Don't our careers come
first? Shouldn't we think of ourselves first? Why should we play such
familiar parts again?"
         The second girl put on a shadowed prince's jacket with thick
epaulets and bobbing shoulder cords, and put her hands on her hips. "For
the show, for the show, for the sake of the show, to break the play of the
world..."
        "Ah, of course, of course, of course! I forgot the actor's creed!"
        "THE SHOW MUST GO ON!" the three all shouted as one.
         They all piled up into a silhouette of a convertible car and
picked it up by the edges with their hands, making vroom-vroom-VROOM!
noises as a group. The third girl hopped out of the driver's seat and
splayed out along the hood of the car as the other two girls continued to
vroomvroom! behind her.  "Besides, it's not as if we have anything better
to do, do we?"

        "Kashira, kashira, gozonji kashira!"
        
        The images faded away... and as Anshi blinked to clear her
watering eyes, scarcely able to breathe, words became visible on the page,
a single, simple line of plain black text.

        "Your presence is requested at Ootori Academy immediately."


*end chapter three*